Give me one of these Colgate packs to hold, read and ogle the contents in a simply‐furnished room and I’d be happy for 15 minutes.

But ask me to choose one from the eyeboggling range on display at Tesco and my brain just can’t cope. They all look like minor miracles of engineering, but what’s the difference between them? What do all these colours mean? Are they for children?

Thankfully there didn’t seem to be any information about size or bristle firmness; or maybe there was and I missed it.

For anyone not determined to work it out because they ‘only wanted a toothbrush’, the simple Own Label designs are lying in wait…